Still Feeling Very Upset...

... ... Continuation of yesterday ... ...

Let me begin with an incident which happened just a year ago...there were tOooo many things which had happened in the past...toOoo many to mention & be brought up, let's just settled from a year ago.

First day of the Lunar New Year (or Chinese New Year), we (me & family; can't remember my sis & her family ever done that) used to go straight to ah mah's house (which is walking distance to my parents' home) & we'll meet my parents' there. From there we do the usual: take 2 oranges & say the Chinese New Year greetings to the elders...like to out grandparents first, then parents followed by anties, uncles...(by seniority). Cannot remember since when, my father changed his mind & INSISTED that we drop by his home first before going to ah mah house together...(by the way, it is very troublesome for us because prior to that, we have to visit my mother-in-law, uncle-in-law, father-in-law [my parents-in-law are divorced & each has re-married] all in the morning & gotta always rushed to my parents place first then to ah mah's home). So what's the problem in meeting at ah mah's house? Because of respect & it's chinese tradition, all children must go back to parents' house to pay respect first & greet parents first? Want to talk about Chinese Tradition??? Hello, if it's really a Chinese Tradition then daughters who are married off, are only allowed to visit their own parents on the second day of CNY & NOT ON THE FIRST DAY... ...if you want to talk about traditions, stick to Proper Ones & NOT YOUR OWN...that's his own traditions. He has alot of his OWN rules & regulations...

Ok, go back to last year CNY...side track too much. The point is not going to his house or ah mah house first in the first place. Here comes the gist of the whole thing: I seriously don't know what's going on & happening between him (my dad) & his siblings lah ok...he just have a problem with everybody. As usual, we went to my parents' home last year, & waiting for his instructions (nothing new) as to when shall we all move over to ah mah house. Waited & waited...asked mom, she said she had no idea...he's watching tv in the room. Listen ok, everyone...he's watching tv in his room. (That's what he's best at: hide in the room watching his own tv program or sleeping or whatever WHENEVER all of us were there... ...even during our  normal visits. You see, what's the point in visiting then?)

Eldest Aunt called my hp to check, "hey, what time are you all coming? Everyone is here already...waiting for HIM..." again huh, look here...everyONE is waiting for him ok. ONLY people can wait for him, he can be late but not anyone elses. All I can say was, "I don't know, he didn't even said a word about going over...mom also don't know what's happening..." And my youngest aunt had an appointment actually but couldn't leave because he hadn't arrive. My sister also had a visiting. He's great right? ONLY he can waste people's time. So damn SELFISH...finally he asked my mom to call to tell ah mah we are ALL not going that day, maybe tomorrow. & main problem is here, on every second day of CNY...my mom-in-law & bro-in-law + family will be visiting us. I told my mom, "we go visit ah mah on our own later...because tomorrow we can't make it, my mother-in-law& brother-in-law coming to our house..." You know what she told me, your dad said don't go later...See what i mean when I said he is damn freaking SELFISH????? everyOne has to go & do according to his plan...what logic is that??? He didn't care I have to answer to Kenny, my mother-in-law, brother-in-law...i still have to face them.

Anyway, since my mom couldn't give me a definite answer...I didn't want to change anything just to accede to this UNREASONABLE request. On the second day morning, no calls nor messages from my mom...i thought ok good, perhaps they wouldn't be going today or going without us...so my mother-in-law came, followed by brother-in-law & Kenny was cooking for everyone. And then came my mom's sms, telling me to go to my ah mah house & on the way FETCH my ah gong (my grandparents not staying together, ah gong residing at Geylang). See, angry not? I text her & told her my in laws were all here, Kenny cooking halfway & I've told you yesterday I couldn't make it blah blah blah...you know what's her reply? "Just come for awhile la, he's very angry already..." I was fuming mad...so was Kenny & he wanted to call my dad & just tell him that his mom & brother was there & so on...but my mother-in-law talked him out of it & even said perhaps you all just go for awhile since you know what kind of person he is. Initially, she thought I did not tell my parents that they were at my place which was why my dad insisted that we go (she must be thinking, where on earth is there such an UNREASONABLE person...) hahha, she's wrong man...my dad is that such person if she doesn't know any. Thank God for such understanding in-laws...i'm so ASHAMED of my parents...it just reflects on how petty, selfish & unreasonable he is.

Anyway I made myself VERY clear to my mom, this year I'm not going to do such a stupid thing. He doesn't want to go then we'll go on our own because every second day of CNY, my in laws will be visiting us. Sometimes I really pity my mom...she's the messenger & always get ALL the shit from my dad. Frankly, I'm waiting for the day for my father to come to me & ask me on anything which he's unhappy about. Because all while, he ONLY throws his temper & scream at my mom. If he's so unhappy with me, why don't he ask me directly? See har, again...he ALWAYS demands that we call him directly or go to him directly with regards to things which we want to tell him BUT on the other hand, ANYTHING he wants to tell us, he can go thru' mom. Fair not?

Another recent incident, my mom suggested to celebrate Faith's 02nd birthday on the 27th Nov 2010 (actual day 01st Dec 2010) then can invite my grandparents over...so  i told my mom things have been arranged for, please come on that day blah blah blah...now the night before my mom texted me said that my dad asked her to tell my grandparents the party is called off, will go to my place another day...*wth* i'm really pissed...reason being: we did not call him to invite him. anyway, we went ahead with the celebration without him...no big deal, better still that he did not turn up.

To be honest, to me...it'll be best if he can leave us to live our own lives & not involved in our lives unnecessarily. i'll always respect & honor him BUT that does not mean I have to agree with everything he's said, says or had done or will be doing...